Leaving You
by CeeLoobyLouDee93
Summary: Mickey has dreams. Can he make this one - the most important one - come true? Please R&R.


**A.N. Heyy guys XD So, who is loving new Shameless as much as I am? No one, is the answer. Or you would have all wrote fanfiction wouldn't you! Since im not spying much action on that front, I think im safe XD.**

**AnyyyyHOO! Its 05:45 and I cant sleep. So im gunna write something. This has kind of manifested out of nowhere, so if its not so good – you will forgive me. Please?**

**As usually, I have noooo idea what im going to write… so ill leave you as much in the dark here as I am. Sorry!**

The heavy carving on the dark wooden box was visible even in the shadows of the night. Mickey Maguire saw his own name flash back at him as he unlocked the catch, trying his best not to rouse his sleeping brother, Shane.

As the lid lifted, it was almost like gazing through the gates of heaven. Mickey smiled as he witnessed a memory in the making, the box of dreams he had created when he was just ten years old. Some had manifested into experiences he would never forget, such as the tickets from the time his uncle had taken him to the Olympics, or the photos from when he went swimming with dolphins. Others remained dreams, hopes not yet shattered by the ever-persistent reminder of his family and the lifestyle he must lead. Things such as a map of the south of France, and an empty beer can which he had one day intended to make his own of.

Some dreams could not be represented by mere items though. Some were completely immaterial, could not be tarnished with a poor replacement. That is why he kept "The List".

The list was everything in the box, and more. Mickey ticked things off when he completed them, and added new ones almost everyday. He found the list lying at the bottom of the box and brought it out, sweeping off dust as he did so. He smiled upon seeing things he had achieved, and felt a sense of excitement at the things he had yet to accomplish.

Learn to skydive.

Go to the Olympics. (Check)

Swim with dolphins. (Check)

Move to the south of France.

Brew own beer.

Learn to speak a foreign language. (Check)

Be an extra in a film.

Have sex on a train. (Check)

Own a house.

Learn how to take a compliment.

Grow a beard and leave it for at least a month. (Check)

Give your mother a dozen red roses and tell her you love her. (Check – although she did think it was sort of strange.)

Send a message in a bottle. (Check)

Learn to ballroom dance properly.

Eat jellied eels from a stall in London. (Check)

Be the boss.

Fall deeply in love – helplessly and unconditionally.

Write the novel you know you have inside of you.

Shower in a waterfall.

Ask for a raise. (Check… he still had the scars to prove it.)

Teach someone to read. (Check)

Spend New Years in an exotic location. (Check)

Drive across America from coast to coast.

Sleep under the stars. (Check)

Spend a whole day reading a great novel. (Check)

Forgive your parents.

Drive the limo naked. (Check)

Give to a charity. (Check)

Run to the top of the Statue Of Liberty.

Look into your child's eyes, see yourself, and smile.

Mickey smiled as he checked off "Fall deeply in love". It had only been a week since he and Ian had slept together, but he knew special when he felt it. And this was special. Even if Ian didn't realise it yet.

He clicked his pen and wrote on the paper. The words just seemed to flow with the ink. He hadn't planned on writing anything, yet here was this new dream coming alive… one he was sure would come true, even though he hadn't finished writing it yet, and he had no idea what it was he was writing.

_Buy a round-the-world ticket, pack a bag, and run away with the love of my life – Ian Gallagher._

After reading what he had wrote he clicked the pen again and shut the box. His fingers grazed over the words he had carved over ten years ago with his dad's pocket knife. He smiled softly, and for the first time that week, sleep found him.

**Shameless…**

Mickey clicked his pen off as he finished the note – the same pen he had used to write this dream all those years ago. Maybe when he arrived at his destination, he could check this one off.

As the rain beats down heavily on the roof, the youngest Maguire son tries to calm the lump rising in his throat. He was doing it – he was finally leaving this drug-induced hellhole. And as sad as it made him… he couldn't wait.

He lifted the heavy bag from the floor and slung it over his shoulder. He spotted his white jacket strewn across the table as he made for the door. He left it where it was. He had instead opted for a black suit jacket – bought for him by Ian.

As he slammed the door shut behind him, Shane awoke in their shared room, and padded his way down the stairs.

"Huh. An envelope." Shanes tired eyes scanned the page.

"MICKEY!"

**Shameless…**

Mickey was half way towards the train station when he heard them. "MICKEY!"

"MICKEY GET BACK HERE, YOU TWAT!"

He stopped, and turned slowly on his heel to face Shane and Jamie.

"Yes? Can I help you?"

"Mickey Maguire, you get your arse over here and explain what the fuck is going on." The Irish accent ran thickly through the smoky air.

"That's not my name."

"What?"

"That's not my name."

"What, Mickey? Oh, all right, _Michael_ then."

"Not the Mickey bit. The Maguire bit. Im not a Maguire anymore, im Mickey… just Mickey."

Shane's eyes cast to the floor whilst Jamie's looking pleading. Both were completely exasperated with the entire situation. Shane decided it was his time to speak up.

"Mate, I read the letter. You're doing this for love? You never mentioned any girl to us…"

Ha! Mickey laughed inwardly, without letting any amusement show on his face. If only they knew.

"Yeah, im doing it for love. And no, I haven't mentioned any girl to you because I didn't want you to be acquainted with the person I love, quite frankly."

Jamie was suddenly fuming. "Why? Wouldn't she approve of our little family? Well you know what Mickey, you should stuff her. We're not having this. You cant have known her that long, we know what you're like – you cant keep a secret. You cant run off with some girl you barely know."

"You asked Karen to marry you before you even kissed her."

That stung. Below the belt, Mickey… below the belt.

"That was different. Karen and me – we're made for each other. And she didn't disapprove of my family! Whoever this girl is, she aint worth your time. C'mon, help us find her… we'll rip her out of your life for good!"

"Okay, OKAY! We don't need to find… _her._ I'll stay. Ok?"

Jamie smiled, as Shane wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"Its for the best, mate."

"Oh, you can shut up and all. You're in love with a prossie."

All three laughed as they walked back in the direction of The Jockey.

**Shameless…**

Mickey had texted Ian, telling him he couldn't come after all. He felt cruel, but what else could he do? And part of him thought Ian deserved it – after all the messing about he had done, he couldn't start demanding commitment now. But Mickey's heart knew that was irrelevant.

_Eyes, like a sunrise_

_Like a rainfall down my soul_

Urgh, not that bloody song! Mickey HATED that song! Everyone else seemed to like it though.

Mickey glanced around the room at all the couples in one another's arms, taking solace in one another. Libby and Frank – god knows how that one happened, Frank was even clean these days. Kelly and Shane. Maxine and Carl. Chesney and Casey. Yvonne and Stan. Jamie and Karen. Mimi and Paddy. Joe and Anna. Lip and Hannah. Debbie and Mark. Monica and Norma. Fiona and Steve. Kev and Veronica. Carrie and Tom. Sue and Marty. Sheila and Rob. Meena and Chris. They were all at it. Having fun to the sound of love.

It made him sick. But, realistically… only coz Ian wasn't there with him, to dance together in a back room, the exhilaration of being caught long in their past as they had fallen for each other.

As the song ended, people migrated back to where they came from… most headed to the bar. Mickey shrunk into a corner, but his family found him anyway. He gulped under the penetrative stares of Paddy and Mimi. Those two were terrifying – especially when you were their scorned child.

Mimi's voice was the first to break out of the shackles.

"So… who is she?"

Mickey decided to play innocent.

"Who?" He took a sip of his pint. Paddy looked at him furiously.

"You know damn well who, son. This girl you were planning to run away with! Who the fuck is this girl!"

"I never mentioned no girl."

Mimi sighed. "Mickey, Shane gave us the letter. 'I've met someone, who I love. We're gunna run away together'."

Mickey could have smirked with the satisfaction that still, there had been no mention of a girl. Instead, he chose to avoid having his arse kicked – for lip, more than the whole gay issue.

"I cant tell."

"What do you mean, you cant tell? Is she on the run from me or something? Is it that Natasha girl I sent you after a few weeks ago? She still hasn't paid me that 5 grand."

Mickey laughed. "No. No, its not her. I just cant tell. Its not that I think… _she_, would mind. I just cant."

Paddy sighed. He already had Shane. What in the hell was wrong with his bollocks that they brought him two stupid sons?

Mickey looked over and saw his fathers furious face. It was now or never.

"Its Ian. Im gay. Alright?"

Without waiting for an answer, he left for the bathroom.

When he came back, Paddy and his brothers were nowhere to be seen. Karen stood behind the bar, while Kelly and Mimi sat with her, all three gossiping animatedly. Karen happened to catch his eye and the conversation grinded to a steady halt as all three women smiled broadly at him.

When Mickey made his way back over to his spot at the bar, Kelly rested her hand lightly on his forearm. "Another beer, love?"

Mickey shook his head. "No thanks, im off. Im going to find Ian, and I am going to leave with him on that train. Im sorry, mum. You'd do it for dad, right? Well… Ian means more to me than anybody ever meant to anybody else. This is just something I have to do."

Mimi nodded. She understood her son's decision. She just wished it hadn't crept up on her like this, and she had had more time to spend with him before he left.

**Shameless…**

Mickey had texted Ian, explaining what had happened. He then left the pub and headed towards Ian's bungalow. The darkness was creeping into the late afternoon, and rain still beat down heavily. It blurred his vision and slowed down his walking.

Whilst halfway there he saw three figures across the street. If he didn't know any better, he would have sworn that it was his dad and brothers. But they never came here, this was the slightly more decent side of Chatsworth. A side where the majority didn't do drugs or borrow money. A side where the Maguire's rarely had any contact or acquaintances.

Before he knew what was what, Mickey found himself at Ian's door. He knocked repeatedly, but received no answer.

"IAN! Ian look, I know your mad at me, but open the door! Please! At least just let me explain, and then you can kick me out if you want! IAN!"

Mickey fiddled with the handle and found the door unlocked. He didn't open it.

"Ian, im coming in, ok?"

Mickey opened the door, but seconds later he wished he hadn't. A thin trail of blood led from the living room, and up the stairs. Horrible images ran through Mickey's mind, he thought the worst.

"IAN!"

Mickey ran as fast as his legs would carry him up the stairs, and crashed his way into the bathroom. He found Ian lying in the bath, semi-conscious, covered in his own blood. Mickey shook him awake.

"Oh, hi…"

"Ian, what the hell?"

"I'm sorry, Mickey. I'm so sorry. I tried to drag you away from all this – from everything you know. I really love you, but if you want to stay here I understand…"

"Ian, what are you going on about? This doesn't sound like you at all. And what the hell happened to you? You didn't do anything stupid, did you?"

Ian shook his head slowly. The truth dawned on Mickey like a deafening weight.

"It was dad. Dad, and Shane. And Jamie."

Ian nodded too quickly. Blood spurted from his mouth and he leaned over towards the toilet and emptied his stomach. Mickey winced from the pain he knew Ian must be in, and also the pain he felt in his heart, knowing that Ian was hurt because of _his _family. It disgusted him.

He turned himself behind Ian, slid his arms under him and lifted him out of the bath. Once on his feet, Ian found himself able to stand alone. He stood still as Mickey mopped the blood from his face, and stripped him of his blood-stained shirt. Mickey cleaned the blood off Ian's chest that had soaked through his shirt and grabbed a bottle of anti-septic lotion and cotton wool from the shelf. Ian winced as the lotion stung his cuts, but remained still. He managed a small smile for his boyfriend, who looked devastated at the turn of events.

"Mickey?"

"Yeah?"

"It's not your fault."

Mickey smiled. "Ok."

**Shameless…**

"What the FUCK!!!"

Everyone in The Jockey turned their head towards the angry voice. Mickey charged across the pub towards his dad.

"I mean, seriously. Why? Why would you do something like that? If you have a problem with me being gay, that's a problem you take up with me, not Ian! He's the fucking innocent party here, yet he's the one sat in his bedroom covered in ice packs and bandages! Why?"

Paddy sighed. Shane looked to the floor, cradling his bruised hand. Jamie let a lone tear roll down his cheek. Mickey already had millions streaming down his.

Mimi, Kelly and Karen looked completely sympathetic. All three were glaring at their men, none more so than Mimi. That is how Mickey knew they weren't behind it. It was just the men.

"I can't do this. I don't do emotional talks, I just… don't. You two can deal with this."

Paddy walked away. Mimi looked ready to stand and throw a bottle at his head, but a steady hand from Karen kept her down. Jamie was the first to speak.

"It's not coz you're gay, mate. It's because you're running away. Ian is taking you away and we just… really don't want you to leave. We knew you wouldn't listen to us so we went to talk to him. I swear, that's what we went for, to talk! But he refused. It was quite sweet actually, he really loves you, and he can't live without you. It's pretty inspiring. But dad took that to him disrespecting the family and made us let rip. You know what we get like. I'm really, so sorry. I just didn't want you to get hurt. That's the last thing me or Shane wanted, but we can see that we've just ended up hurting you even more."

Mickey found himself completely respecting that answer. At least he was honest. Now he just felt a boiling rage for his so-called father. Shane seemed to sense this in him.

"Don't blame dad though Mickey, please don't. I know he's a stupid prick but he just thought he was doing what was best… he just aint very clever, so he don't know a right lot. Just… don't hate him for it."

Mickey grinned at the "stupid prick" comment, and his face died down slowly throughout everything else Shane said, he had to agree with him. He just couldn't find it in himself to forgive him. Paddy walked back into the room, looking surprisingly apologetic. Mickey forgave him. Silently. The words just wouldn't make it to his mouth.

"He forgives you."

Mickey spun on his heel, seeing Ian leaning on the wall, clutching his side. He rushed over instantly and pulled Ian's body weight onto himself.

"What are you doing here? You should be resting, you idiot."

He all but carried Ian to a seat next to Kelly, who stroked his face in reassurance. Ian flinched under her touch but cooled when it passed the cut on his cheek.

"Well? Do you forgive me?" Mickey glanced into his fathers face.

"Yeah. Yeah. And Ian does too, in case you were wondering. I think you owe him an apology."

As Paddy leaned down to give Ian a complete and sincere apology, Mickey walked to the bar as Jamie passed him two beers.

"Stop crying, anyone would think you were the gay one." Mickey winked at Jamie, who laughed through his tears. He tread carefully back to the table and passed Ian a beer, kissing him softly as he did. When they pulled apart, the only sound to be heard was the three women. "AWWW!" Mickey grinned, never taking his eyes off Ian.

Ian pulled Mickey closer, and whispered something in his ear. Mickey's eyes got wider with every word. Everyone looked confused.

"Can I tell them?"

Ian laughed. "Course you can, dopey."

"Well, we're still going. But only for a holiday. We're coming back… and then im moving in with Ian."

Everyone smiled widely, and Paddy slapped Mickey on the shoulder in congratulations, they could handle that.

"And then we're getting married."

Silence flooded the room. Tears began to stream down Mimi's face, whilst everyone else stood – or sat – in shock. Her motherly instinct started to shine through.

"Is it what you want, son?"

Ian looked away, his eyes grazing the room to give Mickey and his family some privacy, and he began to hum quite loudly to himself. Mickey noticed his humming and laughed quietly. He looked up, into the faces of his family, and answered more certainly than he ever had before.

"More than anything."

Cheers flooded the pub as Ian grabbed Mickey and pulled him towards the back room.

**A.N. Wow, that was quite tiring! I quite likee that it was a happy ending though XD I loved making Shane a bit of an idiot, and I laughed so much when I was writing Jamie's line "Oh, all right, **_**Michael **_**then." I soo could not imagine him as a "Michael"! What did you guys think? Let me know! xoxo**


End file.
